This is How Love Works by Steven Carter

Author:Steven Carter
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: M. Evans & Company
Published: 2001-09-24T16:00:00+00:00

These very simple questions tend to stop a lot of very loving partners in their tracks. Perhaps they’re having the same effect on you right now. That’s okay. “Like” is not something many of us are very good at expressing clearly and consistently, and I include myself in that “many.” This should not suggest that you are a bad partner. It should only suggest that you need to be more conscious of the value of “like.”

EXTERNALIZING THE INTERNAL AND

LEARNING THE LANGUAGE OF “LIKE”

Every day we interact hundreds of times with our partners. This interaction starts the moment we wake up in the morning, and doesn’t end till we have fallen fast asleep at the end of the evening. We interact around the bathroom, around the television, around our pets, and around the toaster. We watch each other dress and undress, make phone calls, take naps, pay bills, and floss. And for every single interaction, we are not dispassionate observers. We watch. We learn from each other. We appreciate. We approve. We get annoyed. We disagree. Sometimes what we see makes us smile; sometimes it makes us frown. Sometimes it makes us lose interest; sometimes it makes us feel even more in love. But something is always happening. There are always feelings attached.

Yet often we don’t articulate those feelings—especially the positive ones. We have thousands of little conversations in our head, but we don’t bring that dialogue into the room. Consider these examples . . .

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